I feel sick. Overeating and undersleeping. No wonder. It's just that there are many thoughts swimming around upstairs that hold easy attribution when it comes to any nausea I may encounter. I'm thinking of him. Naturally. I'm thinking of the strain and conflict of reintroducing him into my life. There's a fork in the road and I'm hesitant at it's division.
On one hand, he's sweet. I feel good. I feel great, to be most honest. I like seeing the world with him. That seems important. More important, that FEELS important.
On the other hand, most people do not approve. MOST. So I'm wondering if it matters. Do they see something I don't or are they just worried about seeing me hurt again?

A conundrum.

I have to live my life. I think it's necessary to follow the heart.
Seems like therein lies my decision.
Doesn't, however, seem to make the tear in my heart repair.

I've always cared too much what other people may think. That has wrecked so many things for me in life. I need not let it guide my ship any longer.

Live from Teller Window 6 ...

Well, neato, I can access this fine website from Republic Bank. From the iron cage of my employment.

I need a vacation.


I've taken a vacation, lately, from the life I'd been choosing to lead over the past few years. I think I may make this new residence permanent. Seldom picking up a bottle, seldom striking a match. Instead I play with the fire of an old love. The wound from which I bandaged but never healed....
Not much chance of successful ending here, I know. But perhaps I toy with these flames to be burned again. For another chance to heal the right way.


Today is beautiful. The Sun is out, dancing around and singing nursery rhymes and things.


Three more hours.



I've got to find my niche. Whatever. I'm on a hunt.